Have you ever been talking with your partner and they get a surprised look on their face and they accuse you of snapping at them? If you’re like many people, there are times when this accusation can catch you completely off guard. It’s easy to let little things get to you and for you to take them out on your partner, without realizing you’re doing it. That can be one of the challenges of keeping a close relationship strong. Too much familiarity sometimes makes it easy to take your partner for granted.
Here are some things you can do to avoid these problems and keep your relationships easy going and strong:
One of the most common reasons for harsh words are the insecurities of each partner. For example, if you’re a little sensitive about your lack of gardening skills you’re going to be hypersensitive to any mention of that topic. Even the most innocent comment about the fact that the lawn has a lot of weeks could seem like a personal attack. Sometimes one partner will use these weaknesses as a way to push buttons, but a lot of the time those types of comments are perfectly innocent and if the person with the insecurity would deal with that issue, they wouldn’t be as likely to fly off the handle and consider themselves slighted every time some comment was made.
It’s very important for you to be very aware of your own ‘issues’ and insecurities. It’s the lack of awareness of these things that causes the problems. If you realize that you’re insecure about a certain subject you can guard against seeing an insult at every innocent comment. This one thing can help prevent many misunderstandings in a relationship. Know yourself.
Make it a habit to ‘monitor’ yourself all day long. Be aware of how you’re feeling: when you’re feeling stressed or happy, excited or nervous, etc. When you are continually checking your ’emotional pulse’ you’ll have a better handle on your emotions and won’t be so quick to get upset. Learning this skill can make all of your relationships smoother and more enjoyable, not just for you but for your partner as well.
It also helps if you can learn to laugh at yourself. We all screw up throughout our life… many times throughout our life. Sometimes our screw ups are in full view of others and it can be extremely embarrassing. If you’re not very confidant you’ll be much more likely to allow the embarrassment you’re feeling to turn into anger. If you can train yourself to like yourself and understand that we all make mistakes, you’ll have a much better time of dealing with things when they do go wrong. It’s also a very big sign of maturity and people will greatly respect you when you handle these types of situations graciously.
If you want to know how to keep a close relationship strong, the one best piece of advice I could give you would be to like yourself first. It may sound silly but so many problems in relationships stem from insecurities. Know and like yourself and you’ll be more patient and loving with your partner… and they’ll likely do the same.