Beyond talking, the best way to get to know another person is to watch them carefully. You probably don’t need to hire a private investigator or stalk your significant other to do this.
Instead, you can learn a lot about who they are, what they like and dislike, and what you can expect from them in the future just by watching them when you’re together.
Interactions With Others
You’ll learn the most about your partner by watching them interact with other people. Watch, for instance, how they treat their family members, because that could very well be how they will treat you when you are like family to one another.
One of the great aspects of dating is that you get to see someone in a lot of different circumstances. This can include seeing the difference between how they act with you, how they act around friends and family and how they behave in social situations among a group of people.
Over time, you’ll get to watch your significant other interact with their oldest friends, see how they behave when you introduce them to your friends, and see how they treat older people, children, and even animals.
Each of these interactions can tell you a lot about the person you’re dating. While you’ll want to take into account their current mood and any other circumstances when evaluating a single instance, watching them repeatedly should give you a feel for what you can expect from this person, who they respect and value, and how they deal with difficult people.
All of this information will be invaluable to you as you make decisions about commitment in the relationship.
Things That Catch Their Eye
You don’t want to only watch your significant other around people. In addition to that, you’ll want to see what sorts of things catch their eye. Not only will this help you surprise them with the perfect gifts for birthdays and Christmas, but it will show you what they value.
Different people are attracted to different things. If he ogles fast cars, know that staying with him probably means that you will eventually be investing in one. If she eyes clothes in store windows, decide whether you would be okay allotting a certain portion of income to shopping. While these are relatively small things, they can cause big disagreements later.
Look, too, at the people who catch your partner’s eye. Are they looking at people who might compete with you for your place in your partner’s life? That might not be something you want to deal with on a long-term basis.
Are they constantly seeing needy people around them and trying to help? This could reveal a tender heart and a desire to make a difference in the world around them or it might signal that he has a “rescuer” type of personality, who constantly seeks out troubled people in order to try and rescue them.
Whenever and wherever you spend time with your partner, they will reveal themselves to you in their words and actions. When you watch them and note what you see, you can learn things about them that might never come up in conversation. These things will help you decide whether or not to build commitment and love into the relationship or whether you want to keep things casual.