When you get back out into the dating world and start dating a new person how do you know when it’s the right time for the relationship to move to the next, more intimate, stage? I guess what we’re really saying here is when do you know if it’s too soon in the relationship to begin a sexual relationship. Although for many people it just happens and they don’t really need to think about the timing too much, but for some it can be a little tricky.
There is a right time and a wrong time to move the relationship to a sexual level, even for those who are adults and well past the age of consent. Even if standards and morals have changed considerably over the years, even in this day and age men still have a certain perception of a woman who is willing to jump straight into bed with them. Although a guy may even take advantage of that and have a one night stand, if they think you are easy to jump into bed they are probably only after a one night stand and are not likely to call you back for a future date and long term relationship. When you give too much too soon in a relationship then the guy might not think of you as serious dating material, but rather as a ‘good time girl’.
So let’s start with the ‘First Date Rule’. Jumping into bed with someone on the first date is a big NO-NO! There may be one exception to this rule and only one. This exception may be if you have known a man for quite some time and have a really good friendship and then that friendship suddenly blossoms into a romance, then it may be alright to have sex on the first ‘real’ date that you have with him and it shouldn’t damage the future relationship. In any other circumstance the first date is way too soon for a sexual encounter. Have as much kissing and cuddling as you like, but keep it at that.
Now for the ‘Second Date Rule’. If you are hoping that the first date is over and now you’re on your second date it should be ok to have sex, then think again. The second date is also too soon to take this new relationship to a sexual level. Remember that you are just getting to know this person and having had one date is not enough time to really know him very well yet. Take a bit more time to get to know this guy before jumping into bed with him.
Next we have the ‘Third Date Rule’ and there are many people that think by the third date it is finally time to hop into bed with the guy. However, if you truly want this relationship to develop into something long term and something wonderful then even the third date may be too soon to take this next step. These days many people do the whole dating thing backwards – they meet a guy in a bar and have a few drinks then go back to his place and sleep with him. They have only just met and probably don’t even know each others last name and yet they have already had sex together. For these people who have it all backwards – these dates rarely continue past that first night, they are one night stands and this approach does not often develop into a true relationship.
It isn’t always easy to know when the time is right to take the relationship to the next level but if you really want this relationship to develop then give it some time to get to know each other before taking that next step. If there is a connection between you then nourish that connection and let it grow so you can connect as people and not just as sexual partners. You don’t have to wait years before having sex but just give it long enough until you know the guy and feel comfortable with him and then you will find that it should just happen when the time is right.